Keep up. No one will get you get where you want to be faster than YOU. So keep up and keep on keeping on! I mean it.
As a child, I always considered myself a girls girl. Which is funny considering I was very much a tomboy. But I preferred the company of other girls, because I related to them, truly related with their journeys and emotional ups and downs. I understood their language.
This didn’t change much as a young adult. I still preferred my gal pals over my bros. But throughout my twenties I’ve noticed a stark shift in the company of women. First of all, it’s very difficult to make NEW friends. I’m not sure why, but I find that most adult women without a childhood or college history find NEW women threatening. I suppose I’ve experience this personally too. Feeling intimidated or small in the presence of a beautiful, powerful woman. It happens. But because I consider myself an ally to my sex, I’ve always swallowed my fears and stepped forward to get to know these fem fatales.
This past year, with the growth of my blog and my stepping out from behind the camera- into the spotlight- I have experienced the harsher side of my fellow females. I won’t make a list here, because when I type it out, it sounds like I’m hating on women. Which is NOT the case. I love the women of my inner circle. Those wonderful ladies who consider friendship before personal gain- Friends who share in both my grief and my greatest joys. The list of my closest friends still includes nearly ALL women.
However, these days I do find myself taken aback by how women navigate relationships with one another. I’ve been blown away at times by the absurdity of some women. When I’m crying because of some hurtful online engagement, or by some bizarre confrontation, I do find myself wondering if it’s a female thing. You don’t hear of men doing the same things, but I don’t run in their immediate circles so I guess I wouldn’t really know.
Anyhow, it’s disheartening in some ways and gives me hope in others. I refuse to become bitter or depressed over a handful of bad experiences. This is where the “Don’t Give Up” part comes in.
I believe we are each the beginning of change. If I’ve had a few bad experiences with the ladies of my life, that does not mean I have to give up and become jaded. Instead, I challenge myself to treat my fellow women with respect, compassion and support. I try and lift up, encourage and rise up beside the women I love and even those women that I don’t love so much. Even the ones who were not so nice to me, or purposefully knocked me down. I have not stayed down for a moment. Nor have I given up.
I hope this brings some encouragement. Truly, I do. Because as I said, I have struggled with my own insecurities and feelings of competition or being threatened. It’s weird to fight down these instincts when they arise. But I believe we MUST. We must KEEP UP the fight against our worst fears and NEVER GIVE UP on ourselves or the good in others.
Special thanks to Le Motto for always uplifting and feeding my soul. To Allie from Anne Revere Jewelry who simply glows with joy and kindness. And to Lisa from Younique who has touched my heart and made my day in May with an introduction to their makeup line.
SHOP THIS LOOK: Le Motto Racer Back, TopShop Moto Jeans, Anne Rever Necklace and Earrings, Younique Bar Necklace, Ami ClubWear Handbag,
Vaiana says
This is one of the most touching blog posts I have read! I know that so many women can relate to you and yet, some still need to understand that we need to build each other up and stop feeling threatened by our peers.
Lavenda, I thank you for being so personal and open with this post. Your depth and sensitivity are refreshing and much needed. You’re beautiful inside and out. Vaiana
lavendamemory@gmail.com says
Girl, thanks so much! It takes some growing up to get there. For myself I mean. So, I figure a lot of us need a free pass as we go through growing pains 😉
Kimberly says
We did a RaffleCopter together awhile back – I don’t know how I missed it but I just now saw your message on my FB page! 🙂 Just wanted to say I love your site and will definitely be following along!
~Kim @yeswearthat
lavendamemory@gmail.com says
Thanks so much girl! Love your feed as well 🙂